FINALLY A NEW POST.

Transcribed from a chat:
i was in a cave
and in this cave there was this circus
well it was like a circus act
but they were taking themselves very seriously
and there were cats that i swear could talk (they never did, but in my dream i knew they had the ability to)
they just gave me the side eye
all these cats
they didn't like me for some reason
i kept walking through the cave and ran into my sister
then she convinced me to take the subway with her
conveniently located.......IN THE CAVE
i got on the subway
freaking out cos of these freaks in the circus show
and these cats
and then i realized i had forgotten my purse
and i had to go back
and then i guess i must have been tossing and turning because i woke up and went
and had a different dream
but i can't remember it.
THE END.

Conspiracy Theory

Transcribed from a convo with ESW:

Edward: what happened in it?
me: i went to school at hogwarts
but it wasn't in a castle or anything
it was a normal school
but i know it was hogwarts
and there was this huge conspiracy against me
and anyone who went against the norm
Edward: yeah
so basically you were a hipster at hogwarts
me: a hipster is the norm nowadays
so no.
so i went to my room, which looked exactly like my room at my apt
and i noticed that there were three fans in it
and also that one of my lampshades was missing
and i said
JOHN SULLIVAN DID THIS
i haven't seen john sullivan in a year or so
Edward: who is john sullivan?
me: he's a guy from rutgers
and in my dream for some reason
he was the one that did that to me
Edward: what an ahole
me: or so i thought
but he wasn't.
i went outside and someone told me that there were arrests being made
Edward: haha ok
me: and i watched as a few people were forced to get on this bus
and one of them was this girl i knew from rutgers too
and when they noticed i was watching them
one of the "cops" said, "that's it for this rehearsal. thanks guys for participating."
at that point they had gotten everyone on the bus that they arrested and were trying to make it seem like they were just rehearsing for a play
Edward: haha ok
me: but then i looked at one of the cops, and he mouthed, "you're next" and i knew i was because he was holding a christmas card i had made a couple of years ago which only someone who had been in my room could take
Edward: so it was like that buffy dream

A-Adventure Tales

Transcribed from an e-mail to a good friend:

Soleman I just had a sick dream. Basically you and I were gimli and aragorn reversedly of course. And we led some armies to victory. Then we were charged with a secret mission to go to mordor (through the woods of NJ to NYC.) Deige and Furman showed up as our companions and at the end of it my saxophone case which I brought as a weapon summoned a minstrel and we were singing some crazy ass shit in harmony including "I love you baby" and "soul man". We skipped mordor and ended up marching into a music competition at a community college.

Nightmares

I am way too old for nightmares but they still happen, I think I should stop sleeping on the couch in the basement. I kept waking up in recursive nightmares still on the couch, unable to turn on the tv. There were people in the basement with me. One more ghost boy and I am moving the fuck out of here.

Doctor What?

Doctor Who dreams are sexy and sci-fi. I hope to have more.

This is a rather lame way to express how much I've been liking the show in its new series, but I also can't remember the dream that well.

LOST

Did you know that LOST's first season was actually a reality show, and Terry O'Quinn hosted? He would sneak up on people and whisper "You're Doomed." His version of Trump's "You're fired!"

Also I had a dream where a bunch of my friends and I were at a cabin at a ski resort. The last night we were there it turned into a giant party with random acquaintances from college showing up. There was something about a guy making out with a girl in a big doghouse, and a joke about hosing themselves off with a shower head. I didn't really get it either, but it did make me fear the idea of "big" comedy.

19th Century

The beginning of a dream that ends coherently hardly ever matches its climax. The dream almost seems like a slide projector, scanning through images quickly and carelessly, until it settles on something it likes, and pursues that thread. I remember that I was seeing images of train stations, and I got on a train that was designed to carry its passengers on the outside, with seats attached up and down along the side of it. I remember getting on the train, but I don't remember where it went, because the slide projector turned, and I went to another image.

I was in a horse-drawn carriage; though there was no horse, and it was more like a giant crib built for a man, as it was located in my bedroom. I was watching some science fiction movie and making a list. I hardly remember what was on that list now, but I remember it was important. Some information about love unrequited, my life in general, and my purpose.

I woke up. I was outside a barn where a group of friends met weekly. I arrived just as their meeting was ending. They were perplexed that I would show up late, and knowing that I must have lied to them about having a reason for not showing up that night, I invented another lie: I've been sleep-driving lately.

Unfortunately, the lie turned into reality. I was still on top of the carriage when I had arrived, and the horse that drew my carriage began to buck. I managed to calm him down, and have a long chat with two of my friends, who showed me the giant cookies (at least two feet wide) their activist mom was making for Earthquake relief around the world. They were covered in the thickest and most colorful icing I have ever seen. My friends had forgiven me for my missing the meeting, and bid me farewell.

I clamored onto my carriage, and began leaving. While turning from the barn's driveway the carriage began to shift into the form of a mini-van, and then back into the carriage. Because of this, and the separate control methods, (horsepower and combustion engine) I began to crash into their neighbors' mailbox. Finally the carriage stayed a carriage and I began down the familiar road to my home.

The road was no longer familiar. Somehow, I had gotten onto a major highway in a snowstorm, and the carriage was now a sleigh, allowing me to move in the snow. I was also now accompanied by a girl. The sleigh was moving well in the snow, until it became clear that the snow was becoming thicker, until it appeared that the snow had become so thick that it was like limestone, and began pounding the sleigh, which was now a dump truck (still pulled by a horse). I watched as the dump truck filled with rocks, and I felt as if I was going to sink under the stone. I heard the voice of Chris yell out to me, "JUST RIDE WITH IT." and as soon as he yelled that, the truck stopped sinking under the stones, and started riding with them as if they were surf. I rode a little further and eventually came to a much more slightly snow-covered road. I thanked Chris who, with his girlfriend Lacey, joined me and the carriage girl on our sleigh.

We found a small bar where we could relax for a bit. We entered only to find a group of middle-aged locals, all glaring as we entered. I stabled the horse and the sleigh, and met with Chris, Lacey, and carriage girl. We ordered two drinks - for Lacey and carriage girl, while Chris and I tried to figure out where we were. Unfortunately, we didn't have much time with the map, because the woman behind the bar wanted forty-seven dollars for two beers, and of course they didn't take credit card. I started looking through my wallet and pocket for money as the bar patrons began to get closer to us, prepared to fight.

All of the money I had was soaking wet and had somehow run clear, and had turned into a somewhat gelatin-like appearance. Now this was fine according to the bartender, but because of this transformation the money had undergone, it acquired a new characteristic - it would take the form of whatever was next to it in my pocket. So the bill next to my credit card was now a clear, flimsy credit card, not a 20 dollar bill. Most of my money was destroyed, but I was finally able to muster up forty-seven dollars, and Chris, the girls and I ran out of the bar while the bartender complained about tip.

We got to the stable and I tried to untie my horse from its post. Chris admired the horse as I got the sleigh ready. I told him that his name was Comet II, and he continued to pet the horse. As we left through the stable doors, the bar patrons stared at us, convulsing and vomiting at us through the windows. Chris extended his hand to pet Comet II one more time, and was bitten. Comet II had turned into a mountain lion, just barely strong enough to carry the sleigh, and angry and tired. I apologized to Chris about the bite, wrapped his hand, and we left. The bar patrons were running out the door towards us as the dream ended.

I woke up.

roommates

Have you ever dreamt that your roommate was trying to kill you? I have. Twice. Both times I was watching Roseanne.

What does this mean?

immobile

Last night I twisted my ankle and now I can't walk. I had a dream about it. Goes something like this:

I went to work even though I had twisted my ankle the night before and couldn't really move. I don't know how I got to work. I just appeared there. My foot was bruised, swollen, full of gashes and bleeding. Totally disgusting. There was a party in the office and no one seemed to think it was a big deal that I was bleeding at my desk. It was very reminiscent of an office party that Phyllis from The Office would have. My mom was there for some odd reason and she finally came over to take a look at my foot. I kept asking her to please not touch it because it hurt so badly and she didn't listen. Just kept poking and prodding. Sigh. Moms. Then I woke up because I fell asleep on a tiny couch in our living room and kept putting pressure on the foot I can't use. WAH WAH

She Is My Dreamcatcher

She keeps my nightmares at bay.

Morpheus v. Oprah

If you fall asleep during Oprah, your dreams will be crazy:

- Home makeovers
- Robot Mail carriers inside giant art deco buildings
- Hip Hop Artists being cheated on by their boos
- Friends cheating on friends
- Washing dishes in sinks too small
- Rooms completely switching orientation
- Psychology students having heated arguments about deaths in the family

I just had this dream and I already can't remember it too well. It just gave me a sad feeling and made me hate people more.

Thanks a lot Oprah.

A Village

Unlike M. Night Shyamalan's The Village, my recent village dream had nothing to do with boars' heads - neither the lunch meat nor the ritualistic donning of them. This dream had a lot to do with horror and cramped spaces, and other than my claustrophobia, I really have no clue what real-world fears it mined.

I was driving through dirt roads with a girl I assume was a girlfriend, though she had no discernable face, yet she was beautiful and tall and thin. We were listening to old AM stations and enjoying the fall colors of the forest when a group of people blocked our way on the road. It was very similar visually to the scene in Children of Men when they are ambushed and Julianne Moore is killed. No alternate route could be found to avoid these people, and every time I would turn down other dirt roads, another group would form and push me in another direction. Eventually one of them was able to jump into the car, pushing me across the seat and driving us towards a cliff. As he accelerated, we fell over the cliff and began careening down into the rocks below. At the moment we died, our bodies were transported elsewhere. The mechanism behind this wasn't clear, but it was obvious that my girlfriend was gone and I was merely a spirit, viewing the events.

I floated off towards a village overlooking the cliff, and saw the matriarch of the village. She was instructing the others in preparation of the bodies, and I followed them back down the roads I was driving on previously to find them meeting up with a car-load of drunken ne'er-do-wells. These villagers were in the business of selling newly aquired bodies to those who could do whatever they wished with them. As I saw my body and my girlfriend's body loaded into the car I felt an immediate sickness, and headed back towards the village to hide, and to mourn.

I found a suitable hiding place in the basement of the town hall of the village, but to get down there, I had to travel down a set of stairs that was tightly placed against the ceiling. Being an ethereal being, I was able to get down into the basement and wait. While in the basement I began to learn that I had certain abilities in my ghostly form that might be helpful in exacting a revenge. I could inhabit the bodies of the villagers and take their places in the hierarchy of the village. I slowly worked my way up in the village social structure by taking over these bodies, but it wasn't enough. My attempts at subterfuge were foiled by a staunch belief in all things the matriarch told the villagers. It would not be easy to form a rebellion.

Unfortunately, after taking over these bodies, my basement hiding place was becoming very difficult to enter. The crawlspace stairs would nearly suffocate me while I would travel them, and after getting into the basement I felt a strong loneliness; waiting in the dark for someone to enter for a new body to take. I was keeping the old bodies that would be disposed of in there as well, and the stockpile was growing larger every day. I had to do something else before I was discovered.

While training my haunting abilities in the basement, I realized I had gained another ability. I could plague villagers, causing their skin to melt and disfiguring them. I found that these monsters who favored beauty and only sold the best bodies (I have no idea why they wanted mine in the first place) would become completely distraught at finding their bodies destroyed by this plague. I was able to turn most of the villagers into the ugly versions of themselves before the matriarch decided to pack up shop and leave. She had no good bodies left to sell, and most of her villagers were done with her plan if they couldn't be beautiful and happy.

On the day the matriarch was leaving, she began gathering her belongings and went out to her old station wagon to leave. She had forgotten something in the basement, though, and had to return. She went back and crawled down the stairs and began picking up her equipment in the corner. Across from her, a figure lifted his hood and revealed himself. It was me. Somehow I had gotten my old body back and I set my plague on the matriarch. She cried out and took out a knife. Instead of coming at me with it, she stabbed herself, knowing that her beauty was gone, and in her mind she had no reason left to live. I crawled out of the basement and stood over the cliffs and saw my destroyed car at the bottom.

I woke up.

not my own

Ok, ESW, I may be breaking a rule here, but I was chatting with Aubrey today and she told me about a dream she had. I thought it was GREAT and would like to document it. Actually, she had a couple of them, so I'll be posting them both, but this will be the last one that won't be my own.

Aubrey: you and I went out to get tea, and we went by the bo on the way, and he came with us. and we stood in this line, and it was outside, it was a cocos(which is a restaurant in CA.) but just a cart. and we were talking about our monday off, and he said he was going hunting and we asked what he was hunting for, he said worms. and we were both like "okay, buddy, good luck hunting worms, that should be a challenge" and then he says, no, but these are big worms, called quivvols, and then were standing in front of this wood wall in a museum, with a wikipedia page on quivvols, and sure enough, they were really big, like jabba the hutt sized worms only longer, like in dune. and he said, yeah they burrow underground. and we were impressed. and then I got raspberry tea, even though the woman told me I wouldnt like it, and I tipped her a dollar, and she didnt understand, and then I was in a house of this woman who aided terrorists, and she tortured me all night, because I looked in her medicine cabinet.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok. here's the other one:

Aubrey: I had a really in depth dream about me, you and jf. I just remember trying to find a coconut popsicle in an ice cream cart that we had and then we were in this yard that had cement and dirt, and I couldnt make the plants grow, like my father could, but not really my father, because then I realized I was tiger woods and these people said maybe I couldnt grow the garden as well as him, but he only won 1 trophy for golf, and so I could at least grow a little one. and you and jf were standing by the beach telling me you were going to leave without me, so then I did a belly flop into the water. and then I think that was it

Aubrey: actually, it wasnt a belly flop, it was onto my back, and everyone said that was an unsafe area to jump, but I did, and i was fine

Aubrey: but the first half was us all sitting around an ice cream cart eating ice cream, but I really wanted a coconut one, and jf kept getting annoyed that I was still looking, and wasnt happy with the one he gave me to begin with. you had a strawberry one.

"you had a strawberry one." TOO CUTE.

M.C. Trashy

Imagine, if you would, a vacation destination called Arizona Planet. It consists of old, bleached out, dirt roads, a diner, and a Hopi Indian museum/gift shop. Inside the diner you can buy the finest beers, but only two 18 packs of Coors at a time please - state law, you know. Also behind the counter is the prettiest middle-aged actress in all the land, Diane Lane.

In this fantasy world I began dating Diane Lane after impressing her with some pick up line. My dream further revealed to me that we had already worked together on some other movie in the past which I could not remember. Through a series of flashbacks it became apparent that Diane Lane and I were not who we thought we were. In three different iterations of my diner-table-wooing of Ms. Lane, I witnessed our appearances become more and more disheveled, until the point where it became clear that we were merely characters being portrayed by ragged-looking bums.

Then, to my surprise, Diane Lane displayed a fourth transformation within her powers: that of M.C. Trashy, a talking trash can. Apparently she had been using this alter ego to try to provide peace and understanding to the homeless, but only infuriated them more. The talking trash can and I tried to maintain our relationship, but it was too much. M.C. Trashy was all about putting herself down and misunderstanding that "trashy" is not slang for "cool." Quoth M.C. Trashy: "This homeless shelter is really 'trashy.'"

After this flashback, we realized that our entire love was a ruse, cleverly set up by the homeless of the world to wreak havoc on our already-frizzed minds. Diane Lane and I split up, never to speak again.

Then I had a dream where my friend Dan was working at a brain microchip company where they gave their employees discount chips. He was thinking about giving up cable tv for a year to afford the discounted chip. My other friends and I pleaded him not to, telling him: "Nobody ever said, 'Gee, I'm so glad I replaced television with this agonizing brain trauma!'"

The Art of Auto Repair

I take my car in to get some repairs and the mechanic takes it around the sprawling parking lot of the shop and crashes it into a wall. I run over to assess the damage and it turns out he didn't crash my car, but a married couple had crashed their giant truck. The wife assumed it was ok because they had a huge tire affixed to the front of the truck. It turns out that tire/bumper isn't a tire at all, but a giant keg that breaks up into ceremonial rams' horns full of beer. The husband and I drink from the horns and howl at the moon.

I loved this dream.

credit check?

Last night I dreamt that I was graduating with Lauren and Zada. For some reason, the very last day of class everyone was forced to attend a seminar (the topic of which I'm still not really clear on). A piece of paper appeared in my notebook with my name and all of my personal information on it. On the bottom of the paper was what looked like my statement from Bank of America. I thought for sure (but never quite managed to read the piece of paper) it was my credit check and that I failed. Lauren and Zada were both SO excited about it and kept trying to look at my paper, but I kept pulling it away from them. JERKS. I must have been having the worst luck because we were put in alphabetical order and told to go to these conference rooms and somehow Lauren ended up in the same room as me, even though her last name starts with a K. I was also late and barged into the wrong room and felt really stupid. Somehow I got over being annoyed at her when I ran into this tiny monkey in the hallway and we got to talking to one of our friends' dad who was making us laugh hysterically even though none of what he was saying made any sense at all.

Law and Order/Buffy

So one good thing that comes from watching too much Buffy and too much Law and Order is that I end up having some really awesome dreams. The other day I dreamt that I was with people from work and ended up in a real murder investigation. Some guy came to my job to interview me and the people who work at our box office. First he left me in a really dark room and wanted me to memorize some words on flash cards. He thought that was the only way he could really trust that I was a witness in this murder. The room was too dark and I was too sleepy. I fell asleep and woke up in a really bright room with the rest of the box office people. The guy doing the interviewing was wearing a really cool coat, a hat and was smoking a pipe. Totally weird. Because I wasn't much help in the investigation, one of the guys I work with just drove me home looking really disappointed. Bummer. I don't really remember much else, so that's the best I can do with that one.

Last night I watched the final episode of Season 4 of Buffy. Then I dreamt that I was reliving Willow's dream. I was supposed to be in a play and the Scooby gang was in it + Spike. YUM.

This post was really lame, but I was too late in recording my dreams and now I've forgotten the details. I will not delay my posts anymore. Sorry, ESW.

Fixed

I hate dreams where things in my life are fixed. Dreams about my job in Maryland are the most common, where I'm still there, happily working without the nagging feeling of loneliness destroying my ability to stay there.

Last night I dreamed that my xbox was still working. Sure, it's not that big of a deal, but it still brings back memories of all the other dreams wherein my life is in order.

The Flood

For a long time I've meant to keep a detailed dream journal, and after Karla came up with the idea of sharing a blog project with me, I thought that an account of my weird dreams would be the best (and easiest) way to continue it, instead of losing interest after only a few posts. Hopefully it will be somewhat funny, because I do think I have some funny dreams, particularly ones where I end up as captain on the U.S.S. Enterprise and everyone's speaking German, which is probably my favorite repeated dream.

Last night I had one vivid dream in particular that kept popping up. I find that if I awake from a dream, and try to fall back to sleep, I can either return to the same (or similar) dream, or I can move on and somehow find myself in an entirely different dream. Last night I kept returning to the same dream.

I was living in a college-esque dormitory with most of the friends I accumulated throughout college. A lot of them were specifically friends I made freshman year, but some were newer friends I had met even a short time after graduating. In the dream, I would take a shower, and then return to my room to find most of the floor and ceiling dripping with water. As the dream progressed, there would be more water - on the door into my room, then in the halls, and then eventually the entire floor of the bathroom would be a flood after every shower. I reasoned that if I could find a different way back to my room, perhaps things would change.

At this point I think I awoke, only to return to the dream shortly after. I began taking a duct system above the bathroom back to my room, but each time it would fill with water and begin to pour into other rooms on the way back. The most interesting thing about this duct system was that it consisted mostly of wires and not actual ducts, so of course the water was easily flowing through the wires and into the rooms below. After this happened a few times, and I was berated by my old friends for making such a mess in the dorm, I woke up.

I really think this is a pretty obvious dream for me, since I flooded my parents house this past summer when I went out after leaving the water running. It's probably one of the most humiliating things that has happened to me this past year, and I think it's instilled a fear that any running water will now flood the house. Also, one of the heating vents in the basement has been dripping some condensed water I believe, which probably led me to think up the duct thing in my dream. I'm really looking forward to being able to talk about some of my more surreal dreams I've had in the past, because dreams like this one bother me all the much more since they are founded in my real actions.

At least I didn't dream about demons after watching Paranormal Activity last night, though any of those nightmares were probably staved off by the fact that I stayed up most of the night. And even then, those demons would probably appear much more like this: