not my own

Ok, ESW, I may be breaking a rule here, but I was chatting with Aubrey today and she told me about a dream she had. I thought it was GREAT and would like to document it. Actually, she had a couple of them, so I'll be posting them both, but this will be the last one that won't be my own.

Aubrey: you and I went out to get tea, and we went by the bo on the way, and he came with us. and we stood in this line, and it was outside, it was a cocos(which is a restaurant in CA.) but just a cart. and we were talking about our monday off, and he said he was going hunting and we asked what he was hunting for, he said worms. and we were both like "okay, buddy, good luck hunting worms, that should be a challenge" and then he says, no, but these are big worms, called quivvols, and then were standing in front of this wood wall in a museum, with a wikipedia page on quivvols, and sure enough, they were really big, like jabba the hutt sized worms only longer, like in dune. and he said, yeah they burrow underground. and we were impressed. and then I got raspberry tea, even though the woman told me I wouldnt like it, and I tipped her a dollar, and she didnt understand, and then I was in a house of this woman who aided terrorists, and she tortured me all night, because I looked in her medicine cabinet.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ok. here's the other one:

Aubrey: I had a really in depth dream about me, you and jf. I just remember trying to find a coconut popsicle in an ice cream cart that we had and then we were in this yard that had cement and dirt, and I couldnt make the plants grow, like my father could, but not really my father, because then I realized I was tiger woods and these people said maybe I couldnt grow the garden as well as him, but he only won 1 trophy for golf, and so I could at least grow a little one. and you and jf were standing by the beach telling me you were going to leave without me, so then I did a belly flop into the water. and then I think that was it

Aubrey: actually, it wasnt a belly flop, it was onto my back, and everyone said that was an unsafe area to jump, but I did, and i was fine

Aubrey: but the first half was us all sitting around an ice cream cart eating ice cream, but I really wanted a coconut one, and jf kept getting annoyed that I was still looking, and wasnt happy with the one he gave me to begin with. you had a strawberry one.

"you had a strawberry one." TOO CUTE.

M.C. Trashy

Imagine, if you would, a vacation destination called Arizona Planet. It consists of old, bleached out, dirt roads, a diner, and a Hopi Indian museum/gift shop. Inside the diner you can buy the finest beers, but only two 18 packs of Coors at a time please - state law, you know. Also behind the counter is the prettiest middle-aged actress in all the land, Diane Lane.

In this fantasy world I began dating Diane Lane after impressing her with some pick up line. My dream further revealed to me that we had already worked together on some other movie in the past which I could not remember. Through a series of flashbacks it became apparent that Diane Lane and I were not who we thought we were. In three different iterations of my diner-table-wooing of Ms. Lane, I witnessed our appearances become more and more disheveled, until the point where it became clear that we were merely characters being portrayed by ragged-looking bums.

Then, to my surprise, Diane Lane displayed a fourth transformation within her powers: that of M.C. Trashy, a talking trash can. Apparently she had been using this alter ego to try to provide peace and understanding to the homeless, but only infuriated them more. The talking trash can and I tried to maintain our relationship, but it was too much. M.C. Trashy was all about putting herself down and misunderstanding that "trashy" is not slang for "cool." Quoth M.C. Trashy: "This homeless shelter is really 'trashy.'"

After this flashback, we realized that our entire love was a ruse, cleverly set up by the homeless of the world to wreak havoc on our already-frizzed minds. Diane Lane and I split up, never to speak again.

Then I had a dream where my friend Dan was working at a brain microchip company where they gave their employees discount chips. He was thinking about giving up cable tv for a year to afford the discounted chip. My other friends and I pleaded him not to, telling him: "Nobody ever said, 'Gee, I'm so glad I replaced television with this agonizing brain trauma!'"

The Art of Auto Repair

I take my car in to get some repairs and the mechanic takes it around the sprawling parking lot of the shop and crashes it into a wall. I run over to assess the damage and it turns out he didn't crash my car, but a married couple had crashed their giant truck. The wife assumed it was ok because they had a huge tire affixed to the front of the truck. It turns out that tire/bumper isn't a tire at all, but a giant keg that breaks up into ceremonial rams' horns full of beer. The husband and I drink from the horns and howl at the moon.

I loved this dream.

credit check?

Last night I dreamt that I was graduating with Lauren and Zada. For some reason, the very last day of class everyone was forced to attend a seminar (the topic of which I'm still not really clear on). A piece of paper appeared in my notebook with my name and all of my personal information on it. On the bottom of the paper was what looked like my statement from Bank of America. I thought for sure (but never quite managed to read the piece of paper) it was my credit check and that I failed. Lauren and Zada were both SO excited about it and kept trying to look at my paper, but I kept pulling it away from them. JERKS. I must have been having the worst luck because we were put in alphabetical order and told to go to these conference rooms and somehow Lauren ended up in the same room as me, even though her last name starts with a K. I was also late and barged into the wrong room and felt really stupid. Somehow I got over being annoyed at her when I ran into this tiny monkey in the hallway and we got to talking to one of our friends' dad who was making us laugh hysterically even though none of what he was saying made any sense at all.

Law and Order/Buffy

So one good thing that comes from watching too much Buffy and too much Law and Order is that I end up having some really awesome dreams. The other day I dreamt that I was with people from work and ended up in a real murder investigation. Some guy came to my job to interview me and the people who work at our box office. First he left me in a really dark room and wanted me to memorize some words on flash cards. He thought that was the only way he could really trust that I was a witness in this murder. The room was too dark and I was too sleepy. I fell asleep and woke up in a really bright room with the rest of the box office people. The guy doing the interviewing was wearing a really cool coat, a hat and was smoking a pipe. Totally weird. Because I wasn't much help in the investigation, one of the guys I work with just drove me home looking really disappointed. Bummer. I don't really remember much else, so that's the best I can do with that one.

Last night I watched the final episode of Season 4 of Buffy. Then I dreamt that I was reliving Willow's dream. I was supposed to be in a play and the Scooby gang was in it + Spike. YUM.

This post was really lame, but I was too late in recording my dreams and now I've forgotten the details. I will not delay my posts anymore. Sorry, ESW.

Fixed

I hate dreams where things in my life are fixed. Dreams about my job in Maryland are the most common, where I'm still there, happily working without the nagging feeling of loneliness destroying my ability to stay there.

Last night I dreamed that my xbox was still working. Sure, it's not that big of a deal, but it still brings back memories of all the other dreams wherein my life is in order.

The Flood

For a long time I've meant to keep a detailed dream journal, and after Karla came up with the idea of sharing a blog project with me, I thought that an account of my weird dreams would be the best (and easiest) way to continue it, instead of losing interest after only a few posts. Hopefully it will be somewhat funny, because I do think I have some funny dreams, particularly ones where I end up as captain on the U.S.S. Enterprise and everyone's speaking German, which is probably my favorite repeated dream.

Last night I had one vivid dream in particular that kept popping up. I find that if I awake from a dream, and try to fall back to sleep, I can either return to the same (or similar) dream, or I can move on and somehow find myself in an entirely different dream. Last night I kept returning to the same dream.

I was living in a college-esque dormitory with most of the friends I accumulated throughout college. A lot of them were specifically friends I made freshman year, but some were newer friends I had met even a short time after graduating. In the dream, I would take a shower, and then return to my room to find most of the floor and ceiling dripping with water. As the dream progressed, there would be more water - on the door into my room, then in the halls, and then eventually the entire floor of the bathroom would be a flood after every shower. I reasoned that if I could find a different way back to my room, perhaps things would change.

At this point I think I awoke, only to return to the dream shortly after. I began taking a duct system above the bathroom back to my room, but each time it would fill with water and begin to pour into other rooms on the way back. The most interesting thing about this duct system was that it consisted mostly of wires and not actual ducts, so of course the water was easily flowing through the wires and into the rooms below. After this happened a few times, and I was berated by my old friends for making such a mess in the dorm, I woke up.

I really think this is a pretty obvious dream for me, since I flooded my parents house this past summer when I went out after leaving the water running. It's probably one of the most humiliating things that has happened to me this past year, and I think it's instilled a fear that any running water will now flood the house. Also, one of the heating vents in the basement has been dripping some condensed water I believe, which probably led me to think up the duct thing in my dream. I'm really looking forward to being able to talk about some of my more surreal dreams I've had in the past, because dreams like this one bother me all the much more since they are founded in my real actions.

At least I didn't dream about demons after watching Paranormal Activity last night, though any of those nightmares were probably staved off by the fact that I stayed up most of the night. And even then, those demons would probably appear much more like this: